Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day

As I sit and enjoy a quiet morning with Honey Do, I'm reflecting on today. Newton spent the night with my sister. My niece and her husband joined us to attend an arena football game.

Anyway, my reflection. . .  as children, my brother, sister and I always tried to make Mother's Day special for my mom. Making cards, doing her chores, taking her out for meals, purchasing gifts as we got older and had jobs.

I became a foster parent in my mid 40s. I didn't have children prior to my marriage (yes, I got married later too). We weren't blessed with children of our own, so we started with fostering then adoption. And as this journey has progressed, I have discovered that motherhood, first of all, is not for everyone and especially not the meak. You must be a strong person, or quickly become one. Most adopted children, especially if they come through the child welfare system, all have problems from having survived their harsh early years. That was an extremely rude awakening for me. The emotional trauma that accompanies abuse and neglect is something we will all have to live with for the rest of our lives. You don't realized how early in life our personalities and dispositions are determined.

Not every mother has the fairy tale life with her children. Many mothers never get the flowers or dinners out or gifts. Many mothers live with extenuating circumstances every day, with loss. More often than not, thankless, abused and neglected themselves. They care for children who can't care for themselves; or they care for children who don't want to care for themselves because they are just too wrapped up in their own self-centeredness and won't (not can't) see beyond their own desires.

Many mothers are single mothers, or worse, mothers with spouses who don't support them and are equally abusive to their wives as their children are.

I don't share my reflections to depress you. I know that we all have our lots in life but it's not all roses and candy. My wish and prayer today is especially for those mothers who today will be just another day of the normal in their lives, the nothing special. They are the ones who need our love and prayers and wishing for a very special and blessed mother's day because they don't expect anything more and deserve so much more than they are getting.

May all you moms have a very happy, blessed and meaningful Mother's Day.

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